To Change the Past
by JeiC
Summary: If given the chance, would I start over? Press the reset button on my life and go to a save point before everything happened?


Disclaimer: Dun own Kingdom Hearts. I just write stories for fun.  
Warnings: angst

**To Change the Past**

by JeiC

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Gazing into the small bonfire, I only manage to begin tuning out the others gathered before I get elbowed lightly in the ribs. Looking over at the boy next to me, I raise an eyebrow in question. I couldn't be angry at Sora for his action – he's been trying his hardest to keep me from disappearing into the shadows.

He's also the reason I was dragged out to this beach gathering tonight, though Kairi is also partly to blame for that as well.

Leaning over to whisper in my ear, my best friend reprimands, "You're not allowed to tune out, okay?"

Nodding just to get the kid off my back, I try to shove down my anxiety. Being here, with everyone, is screaming all sorts of levels of wrong at me for some reason. Well, deep down, I know the reason…I made this disappear for a year before Sora was able to fix my mistakes and restore all the worlds and it still took him an additional year to get home again since he insisted on making sure I was with him. I shouldn't be here right now. If anything, I should be standing in a dark shadow somewhere, watching everyone from afar.

"Oh, hey, I know!" Selphie bounces on the other side of the fire, nearly hitting Tidus beside her, "How about each one of us comes up with a question and then we can go around and everyone has to answer it?!"

Who gave that girl sugar? Seriously, she's hyper enough without anything in her system. The chorus of agreement must mean that everyone is bored as well. I didn't bother to give any kind of an answer.

"Hm…well, Rinoa can start since she's new," the chipper girl decided, her flipped locks bouncing with her as she gestured wildly.

The dark haired girl pointed at herself as if to make sure she heard right. Though she was in my grade, she had a similar personality as Kairi's. I think it was that her family moved here to the main island a few weeks ago when her father's job was transferred. Large brown eyes looked around, the fire highlighting the few blonde-ish streaks in her hair before responding, "Um…I'm not sure what to ask…"

Silence greeted her as it seemed everyone else was preparing their question as well. Except for me, I really didn't care.

Taking a moment longer to think, Rinoa spoke, "Well, I guess this is a bit out of the ordinary, but since we'll be starting a new year at school in about a week, I guess I'd like to know if you were given a chance, would you go back and change anything you've done in your life so far?"

I could sense everyone swallow hard at that as well as two sets of eyes looking directly at me with worry. Then it hit me: I'm here so I'll have to answer that when it gets around to me, won't I?

Lowering my head as if to think, I use the cover of my bangs to start mentally going into a panic….sort of. I guess I can't help but take the question rather seriously. Before now, I would have automatically said yes, but… if given the chance, would I start over? Press the reset button on my life and go to a save point before everything happened? I don't know.

A lot happened in the time I was away from Destiny Islands. I learned things not only about other worlds, but about myself as well. In that time, I've grown, not just physically, and made a difference where if I hadn't started the chain of events, I would never had gotten the opportunity to do so otherwise.

I barely heard Tidus' answer as they started around the circle in a clockwise direction. It was something about having regretted eating a large amount of food right before last year's blitzball tournament. It was a light answer that had everyone laughing…wish I had heard it.

Selphie's answer was of a similar note – just something small that would amuse everyone, but you could tell that both of them had much more darker answers lurking behind their eyes. I'm sure Wakka will be no different and I focus back on what my answer will be as it is rapidly approaching my turn.

Obviously, saying anything about what happened during those two years is out of the question, but to date, opening the door to the darkness has been my biggest regret. The thing I wished to change most, which would have prevented the chain of events that unfolded, but…if I hadn't opened the door, someone else would have, right? Would anyone else have been able to survive like I did? Like Sora did? Like Kairi?

No, we were all cast into our respective roles for a reason, and I had something to learn from mine. Besides, I think if I had been in Sora's place, I wouldn't have been able to stand dealing with Donald and Goofy.

Being back here has already given me a sense of renewal like the start of a new day. Resetting the past would have meant that I never would have moved beyond yesterday.

Getting elbowed in the ribs again, a lot harder this time, I glare at Sora, "Riku, it's your turn."

"Oh…" Looking around at the others, I gather my thoughts, the image of those deep blue eyes filled with worry motivating me to speak, "Well, there are a lot of things that I'm not proud of, but if I hadn't made those mistakes, I would never have learned from them and become stronger because of it. So, no, I wouldn't change anything."

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Fin  
August 2007  
by JeiC  
---  
Author's notes: Nothing more than a simple prompt.

**For:** 20heartbeats  
**Claim:** Riku  
**Prompt:** Renewal; Reset (#15)

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